babies

All posts in the babies category

It occurs to me frat houses and homes with children are the same in some ways. Everything is sticky and noone is quite sure why.

Published May 30, 2012 by A Magical Place

So… I didn’t wake up immediately when my daughter did – oops – not perfect – (though, in my defense, she usually pulls my eyelids open and helps me out) and you know I wish I had a picture to characterize what I can only hope to explain to you.

My poor dog was not covered in pink powder this time.  (Rest easy, PETA) Instead, the puppy, Julie, was covered head to toe in left over donut filling.  You know, the cream filling in long johns?  Well, this had been plastered in Julie’s coat so little black tufts of fur stuck up in odd places over her body.  And Julie was frantically trying to get the rest of the donut out of my daughter’s grip.

When I asked my precious off-spring to wash her hands and face she did so by rubbing them on my suede sofa.  Seriously.

I’m still not sure… I’m just… well befuddled.

 

Another observation I made concerning men this time.  The TV.  Men… and the TV.  Yes, I realize, darling you love your shows, and yes I know the house can sometimes be loud due to animals, and donut-smearing mini-people but really?–must you have the volume set to 53 when you’re only a foot from the screen?  Just wondering because the neighbors probably don’t give a damn about Always Sunny in Philadelphia (even though that episode was kind of funny).

 

We took the little one to the lake today – actually a state park – for some fun and the park ranger informs us we can’t swim until noon when the booth opens so we can pay to swim.  I’m befuddled again.  It’s a lake… why for fuck’s sake can’t I just swim?  So little one ended up crying and male counterpart was pissy so I had to be an adult, and God how I hate that.

 

In other news my newest book – yet to be titled and still in the roughest imaginable stages of writing – is coming along quite well.  I’m very pleased so far.  🙂

Hope you all had a safe  and happy weekend!!

xoxox

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Pink Pit Bulls, Babies, and Boogers.

Published May 4, 2012 by A Magical Place

I love my daughter.  Really.  Even when she smashes strawberries in the floor, pours my conditioner all over the coffee table or dumps body powder over the dogs – yes that was a terrible mess… there is still pink powder on my pit bull.

Here is an image to perfectly put into perspective of what having a little one is like.

Having a child is not for the faint of heart.  They are messy, sticky, always picking their noses and at three are already learning to roll their eyes.  Geesh, is she three or thirteen????

Speaking of boogers, I noticed something the other day.  Seems to be a trend among drivers who believe because they are in their vehicle they are magically invisible:  nose picking.  This is more prevalent than cell phone usage or smoking.  I’ve observed this for some time now as I sit in back patio garden often.  Sad thing is about this garden paradise (haha, right) is there is a busy road not 15 feet away.   All nose pickers.  All of them.  A finger up the nose more often than my three-year old.  I see you!!

Okay, now I’ve got to go bathe my pink pit bull.