Random

All posts in the Random category

It occurs to me frat houses and homes with children are the same in some ways. Everything is sticky and noone is quite sure why.

Published May 30, 2012 by A Magical Place

So… I didn’t wake up immediately when my daughter did – oops – not perfect – (though, in my defense, she usually pulls my eyelids open and helps me out) and you know I wish I had a picture to characterize what I can only hope to explain to you.

My poor dog was not covered in pink powder this time.  (Rest easy, PETA) Instead, the puppy, Julie, was covered head to toe in left over donut filling.  You know, the cream filling in long johns?  Well, this had been plastered in Julie’s coat so little black tufts of fur stuck up in odd places over her body.  And Julie was frantically trying to get the rest of the donut out of my daughter’s grip.

When I asked my precious off-spring to wash her hands and face she did so by rubbing them on my suede sofa.  Seriously.

I’m still not sure… I’m just… well befuddled.

 

Another observation I made concerning men this time.  The TV.  Men… and the TV.  Yes, I realize, darling you love your shows, and yes I know the house can sometimes be loud due to animals, and donut-smearing mini-people but really?–must you have the volume set to 53 when you’re only a foot from the screen?  Just wondering because the neighbors probably don’t give a damn about Always Sunny in Philadelphia (even though that episode was kind of funny).

 

We took the little one to the lake today – actually a state park – for some fun and the park ranger informs us we can’t swim until noon when the booth opens so we can pay to swim.  I’m befuddled again.  It’s a lake… why for fuck’s sake can’t I just swim?  So little one ended up crying and male counterpart was pissy so I had to be an adult, and God how I hate that.

 

In other news my newest book – yet to be titled and still in the roughest imaginable stages of writing – is coming along quite well.  I’m very pleased so far.  🙂

Hope you all had a safe  and happy weekend!!

xoxox

Kids, dogs, car wrecks, and becoming a supermodel.

Published May 8, 2012 by A Magical Place

I’ve made a plan which – may  or may not be successful in employment: I’m going on a diet.  For real.  No playing around.  I haven’t weighed this much since I was pregnant.  Horrifying!  I mean, I love elephants, but I don’t wish to resemble one’s size.

Okay so we’re going to get off that topic for a minute.  I’ve had a lot of sickies in my house lately.  My daughter had her tonsils and adnoids removed, then we found the stray who had every possible problem in the world, but!  Today I can honestly say everyone is in good health now.  My little girl is recovered and eating finally, Julie is not longer shitting blood and I am going to be a supermodel… or something like that.

Anyway, nothing thoughtful today.  The car is not totaled though!  Yeah! I should have my prius back before the week is up.  Hooray!

Excerpt of a Kiss of Freedom

Published May 6, 2012 by A Magical Place

I was in a car wreck yesterday so I don’t have anything positive to say.  Instead I’ll give you an excerpt of my book which you can purchase from Amazon or straight from the publisher itself – Champagne Publishers.

Excerpt:

He met her eyes and shook his head. Erina’s look was enough to break his soul.

He enveloped her in his arms and breathed butterfly kisses down her neck. There were no thoughts in his head as he laid her down against the dewy moss. The song became a scream against his mind. The invisible claw scraped away at his sanity. He rose up to his elbows and brushed a few loose strands of her hair away from her porcelain face.

She tightened her arms around his neck as if she was drowning and he was her salvation. He kissed her eyelashes, her nose, her cheeks and finally her lips. He needed to remember as much of her as possible. A faint sprinkle of freckles danced across her nose and cheeks. Sweet Erina. He might have just fallen a little more in love. Someday he would find every freckle and mark it with a kiss.

The fiddles still hung in the air. He could feel their whispered words of courage, but the screaming pain of Faerie forced him to move.

“My sweet, please wait for me here.” His voice was a harsh whisper. He added, “Wait for me here, against the ocean’s edge, the moon round and full, I will be here for you.” He forgot his words when Erina covered her lips with his. The call of Faerie beat into him. He could not fight the searing pain that burned his sanity. “Say you’ll meet me, please, I have to go.”

She nodded. “Aye, I will be here, I will wait.” He kissed her once more, and pushed himself to his feet. He dove off the cliff and into the ocean’s depth. He left his heart on Ireland’s grassy shores.

I hope you guys enjoy.  🙂  Everyone have a safe and happy day full of wellness and good things.

Pink Pit Bulls, Babies, and Boogers.

Published May 4, 2012 by A Magical Place

I love my daughter.  Really.  Even when she smashes strawberries in the floor, pours my conditioner all over the coffee table or dumps body powder over the dogs – yes that was a terrible mess… there is still pink powder on my pit bull.

Here is an image to perfectly put into perspective of what having a little one is like.

Having a child is not for the faint of heart.  They are messy, sticky, always picking their noses and at three are already learning to roll their eyes.  Geesh, is she three or thirteen????

Speaking of boogers, I noticed something the other day.  Seems to be a trend among drivers who believe because they are in their vehicle they are magically invisible:  nose picking.  This is more prevalent than cell phone usage or smoking.  I’ve observed this for some time now as I sit in back patio garden often.  Sad thing is about this garden paradise (haha, right) is there is a busy road not 15 feet away.   All nose pickers.  All of them.  A finger up the nose more often than my three-year old.  I see you!!

Okay, now I’ve got to go bathe my pink pit bull.

Elephants, Unicorns and David Bowie

Published May 4, 2012 by A Magical Place

It truly sounds as though elephants are rampaging above my apartment.  Now, knowing my fondness for the gentle giants under other circumstances I would be all like, “YEAH!” but these are not elephants.  Nor are they magical unicorns prancing around with David Bowie circa The Labyrinth. So instead I’m all like, “NO!”  These are loud people.  Disturbing the peace loud people.  Sigh.  I can’t even begin to imagine what all that noise means.  Well, I could probably imagine.  I could write a mystery short story about these people, but I won’t.   No particular reason.  *shrug*

I just worked out for the first time in about a million years.  Absolutely nearly died.  My body was screaming “WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME???  ARE YOU INSANE???”  And I kept on chugging along, rolls a jiggling, sweat a drip drip dripping and my breath shoving out in bursts.  However, I was persistent.  I have a goal to meet, and I plan to see it through.  Never mind the big southern breakfast my Nana made for me this morning.  Shhh…  the diet doesn’t have to know.

God, I love the Big Bang Theory.  Ahhh… there is happiness in the world.